Funny gag gifts for teens1/21/2024 ![]() ![]() ![]() Our daughters grew up to be well-rounded eaters and adventurous cooks who as adults will try almost anything once, and I think it’s because we, like you, mostly fed them what we ate. Though I’ll grant you this much: If you have to ask the server more than once to bring the breadsticks now and not with the first course, the restaurant deserves whatever pint-sized chaos ensues. It would also be nice if they’d seen a china plate and utensils made of metal before you bring them to a restaurant where such oddities are in use. Of course they won’t, if you force them to subsist entirely on a diet of chicken nuggets and toaster pastry. This, of course, assumes that when you cook at home, you don’t serve up lobsters for the adults and Spaghetti-Os for the kids on the Dickensian assumption that “they wouldn’t appreciate it.” There’s no need to order anything but an extra plate for a very small child, onto which you put some of your food so that they learn new flavors and textures. The real key to turning small children into interesting adults is in that third item, only it’s not “everything” on your plate but something from your plate. Kids menus are for parents who have long since given up. Still, first marriages seem to be how women learn, which I guess explains why there are so few women skydivers.Īnother group-created cartoon from the New Yorker, this by David Ostow and Lindsay Arber, which touches on something I blame for turning out people who won’t eat things today that they didn’t eat yesterday. Particularly if you showered occasionally. Well, Rita says a lot of things about men, most of which I can’t dispute, or at least won’t, because, in my post-divorce second bachelorhood, I learned a lot about first husbands that let me know why there were so many women in the 35-45 demographic available. Some men are persnickety about having a place for everything and everything in its place, but an awful lot are, as Rita Rudner put it, “bears with furniture.” I’m more open to complaints about Fred, though I’d say it’s a good argument in favor of long courtships, if not in support of cohabitation before marriage. You’ve still got more than half the Sundays and nearly all the Saturdays to check out the decoupage and crotched statuary with delighted hubby in tow, while even if you aren’t among the 82% of US homes with a second television, you can still download an app to watch “Love After Lockup” on your cell phone while he’s watching football. ![]() Then again, the Monday and Thursday games are at night, and so what you miss is not a chance to go antiquing or hitting craft fairs but a chance to watch “The Masked Singer” or the 400th season of “Survivor.” I used to respond to football widow jokes by pointing out that, ferchrissake, it’s only 16 days out of the year, but what with Monday and Thursday games and extended playoffs, not to mention a longer season, that argument won’t do anymore. The motto of the Non-Custodial Parents’ Gift Shoppe being “Revenge may not be sweet, but it sure is cute.” Which suggests that they’d be good products for the Non-Custodial Parents’ Gift Shoppe, a dream of mine for years, where they would be listed along with toys that come in a million tiny parts and hand-held games that make obnoxious noises and have no mute buttons. The good news, however, is that these cheap monstrosities now show up in grocery stores and at prices that won’t break the bank. But, yes, you would see some parent or two dutifully schlepping one of them around, which, if nothing else, meant no more rides for the rest of the visit.Īnd likely a lumpy toy that would soon fall apart if it weren’t simply sagging dejectedly in a corner of the kid’s bedroom at home. ![]() It used to be nearly impossible to win one of the giant teddy bears depicted in this Rhymes With Orange (KFS) strip, given the various tricks and outright cons employed by the carnies who run the midway games at the county fair. ![]()
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